Sex is important in a romantic relationship because it is not simply a pleasurable activity that two people happen to do together. In an established sexual relationship, sex sits at the intersection of the brain’s sexual, attachment, reward and caregiving systems. Research on human attachment describes pair-bonding as involving interacting oxytocin and dopamine systems, together with neural networks involved in reward, motivation, emotional salience and social connection.

Every woman has a list of jobs for her partner to get to eventually. Every man knows this list exists. Even when he claims not to know. Especially when he claims not to know.

You know the question I often ask couples at the start of therapy.
Why this person?
Of all the people in the world, why did you choose them?

Sometimes I ask it slightly differently. What was it about this person that made you fall in love with them?

For those who haven’t met him, Gary Chapman proposed that we each have a primary way of giving and receiving love, and relationships get wobbly when partners don’t “speak” each other’s language.

Ever lost your erection and blamed your brain? Or felt guilty for your pleasure? Or rushed to orgasm like it was a job interview? Or like sex was another thing on your to-do-list?
Yeah. You’re not alone. In this very real conversation, I sit down with Somatic Sexologist Ilil Lunkry to talk about:
– Why your nervous system hijacks your sex life
– What performance anxiety really is
– Why some people freak out when pleasure actually shows up
– And how to stop seeing sex as something you have to “do right”
It’s honest. It’s funny.

Podcast interview with Davina Zimmer Associate Producer for The Detail

As a leading relationship therapist, I’ve observed countless couples navigate the nuances of apologies and accountability. Interestingly, one pattern often emerges: women tend to apologise more frequently than men.

Finding the right partner can be a journey filled with excitement, challenges, and self-discovery. That's why I'm thrilled to introduce my latest dating guide, "Define Your Ideal Partner: A Relationship Mapping Guide." This guide is designed to help you gain clarity on what you truly desire in a relationship and provide practical tools to navigate the dating world with confidence.

Keeping Yourself Safe From Narcissistic Abuse: A Dating Protocol for Women

Sex appeal in this context refers to a combination of attention to one’s presentation, physical fitness, health/wellbeing, vitality, self-esteem, interest in life, and participation in active friendships.      

A simple definition of cheating is if you have an erotic or romantic connection with someone other than your partner.

If you’re spending more time with your friends than your partner and can’t remember when you last had sex, should you be worried? Alexia Santamaria investigates the danger signs that suggest a long-term relationship might be in trouble, and finds out what to do about it. Featuring Serafin Upton.

When should you move in? Get married? Serafin Upton featured in Alice O'Connell's Capsule article.

Many people still believe in finding ‘the one’, but a growing number of Kiwis believe love goes further than that. Eda Tang reports on the world of polyamory, featuring Serafin Upton.

The Puppy Problem: When different processing speeds cause conflict in relationships and what you can do to drastically improve your relationship communication